


It's fine, Tsukki.

by reeouji



Category: Haikyuu!!, ハイパープロジェクション演劇「ハイキュー!!」| Hyper Projection Play "Haikyuu!!" RPF
Genre: M/M, Rating: M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-11
Updated: 2017-05-28
Packaged: 2018-10-30 16:09:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10880313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reeouji/pseuds/reeouji
Summary: Yamaguchi has been following Tsukishima all his life, it is as if his world revolves around Tsukishima. Yet, the news of him getting a girlfriend has completely taken him by surprise.The relationship he thought he has with him has crumbled into pieces. In fact, it was never there in the first place.





	1. Chapter 1

“I’m getting myself a girlfriend,” the statement itself was deafening to Yamaguchi’s ear. He went blank for a few seconds. But he quickly digested the undesirable truth. “Actually, we’ve been going out for a while.” The voice continued. He kept his eyes to the ground, holding back the tears, biting the inside of his mouth to keep his voice from breaking. He had to say something. He had to. “That…” _Go on. Say it_. “That’s great Tsukki!” He looked up to the blonde with his usual smile, yet Tsukishima could tell that he was forcing it. He lit up another cigarette. That was the third cigarette he had that night. He always smoked after sex; smoking was a habit that he found difficult to quit.  
The room went quite for a while, and when Tsukishima finished his cigarette, Yamaguchi put on his clothes and gather his belongings. Despite his heart beating faster and faster, he moved very slowly. This way, Tsukishima would not know the change of mood and attitude he could be making. However, Tsukishima was too sharp for that. “Good for you Tsukki! I bet she’s pretty. Anyways, I have to go, I have an eight am class tomorrow.” He said as he made his way to the door. Before he stepped out of the house, Tsukishima added, “Give me a head tomorrow.” He bit his upper lip, hard. He could taste his own blood in his mouth. “Anything for you Tsukki..” Then he left.

 _I can’t breathe_. Yamaguchi was gasping for air, he was hyperventilating, he was crying, he was in pain.  
As soon as he got into his apartment, he locked himself in. He didn’t bother to shower or even switch on the lights. He let the darkness to engulf him. The darkness was much better than the pain he was in.  
Thus, how could he let him did that? They have been friends since they were young; he followed him wherever he went, Yamaguchi even went to the same college as him. On top of that, they fucked. _So all this time, we are just… sex buddies?_ Maybe. None of them has ever declared their feelings towards one another. The first time they did it was four months ago. Blame it on alcohol. Then the second time was further curiosity. But for Yamaguchi, he thought it was a form of acceptance, declaration of love, a relationship. How naïve.  
He should be mad, shouldn’t he? He should have punched Tsukishima on his face before he ran off. Or at least throw a tantrum, for playing with his feelings. Or better, cut all ties with the guy.  
But he couldn’t. He couldn’t imagine a life without Tsukishima. He was dependent on him. He needed him. He was the only friend he had in college. Despite being in different courses, Tsukishima still has lunch with him. He brought his knees to his chest; his lips trembled as he cried.  
_Because I love him._

There was no eight am class that day. He lied. Even if there were he would ditch that class. He could barely sleep. The whole day he was trying to hold his feelings.  
Was it always this painful? Being in love? His mother said love is the most wonderful thing in the world. That would probably be true if the two people are in love. It was only him. It has always been him.  
Tsukishima was not the first. He has dated someone before. It was during his third year of high school. She was beautiful. She has long, pretty dark hair; wide brown eyes and when she smiled her dimples would show up. Her smile was everything to him.  
Then one day, when Yamaguchi began on making his first move, she stopped him. “I can’t do this!” She pushed him to the ground; there was a look of disgust on her. This took him by surprise. Her rejection baffled him after all he actually prepared himself. He didn’t plan to go all the way, he only wanted a kiss. Couples do that, don’t they?  
“Tadashi-kun I can’t alright!” She sighed loudly  
“Eh? What’s wrong? Was it my breath?”  
“No! I can’t date you anymore!”  
“Why?” He was in disbelief, “I thought everything was going well.”  
“No, it’s not! Everything is just wrong!”  
“What is it? Tell me and I’ll fix it, Akane-chan… I’ll make things better!”  
“You can’t fix it!” her voice was getting louder.  
“Why?”  
Then she screamed at his face, “BECAUSE YOU’RE NOT WHO I WANT!” This was followed by a silence; Yamaguchi fixed his eyes on the ground. He could not look at her then, he wanted to leave immediately but there were so many questions to ask. “I dated you because I wanted to be closer to Kei-kun, alright?” she continued on, “You two have been best friend since kids, I thought… by dating you, I could go and hang out with him too. But I can’t take it anymore; I can’t keep forcing myself to date you when I like him! It’s just not fair!” His tears poured, “I love you, I thought you did…” Feeling guilty, she stormed off the scene. She wasn’t planning to be all-responsible for his heartbroken. Then what he saw next was the darkness. The truth was hard for him to swallow and the thought of being used left him in an utter shock. Yet, he didn’t hate Tsukishima for it. There was not any slight of hatred towards the guy. He fell to the floor in a disheveled heap as his grief poured out in a flood of uncontrollable tears.  
Then from the darkness, a tall figure appeared. It stood by his side for a while before it spoke. “I’ve always had a bad feeling about your girlfriend anyways,” That voice. _Tsukki!_ Yamaguchi looked up, wiping his tears away before he faced him. “Tsukki, ah.” He stuttered, “It turns out that she didn’t like me as much. I really am not good in relationship…” He forced a laugh to stop himself from crying any further. Yet, Tsukishima knew and this upset him. He glared at Yamaguchi, clenching his fist before he stopped him from leaving the storage room. “Stop laughing, Yamaguchi. It’s annoying.” He grasped him hard by the shoulder and pushed him against the wall. Both of them have known each other since they were kids and Yamaguchi should try harder if he were to lie to him. Before Yamaguchi had a chance to explain himself, Tsukishima pressed his hand across his eyes and leaned into his ear, “I hate people who lie to themselves and others the most. If you’re not happy, then cry it out. There’s no point in hiding it.” His simple words hit the nail on its head, and then the tears appeared once again.  
“I loved her…” More tears.  
“Hmn.”  
“But she didn’t!” Because it wasn’t me she’s rooting for!"  
“Yeah.”  
“It hurts.”  
Hearing his childhood friend in pain, Tsukishima couldn’t help but pull him in his arms. The hug didn’t stop his tears from flowing but it did give Yamaguchi the warmth he was looking for.

 _That was probably the time I fell for Tsukki._ Why was he remembering that then? That was just adding salt to the wound. The last thing he wanted was to think about Tsukishima. The thought of him alone gave him a sharp pain on his chest and he could hardly concentrate on his thought.  
He made it for his three pm class that day, Graphic Design History lecture. Surprisingly as it sounds, Yamaguchi was fond of arts. After the major breakup he had in high school, he had turned most of his attention to drawing. Once he started thinking of it, he’d begin doodling. His emotion can be expressed through his doodles. His love for Tsukishima has also played a part in this major.  
Usually, the male would be excited about this class, but due to his current situation, everything just seemed awful. Instead of sitting in the front, he sat at the very back because he planned on isolating himself from everyone. He could barely listen in class anyways and whatever words his professor was saying, they were like a broken radio to his ears. For the whole three hours worth of lecture, he could only doodle.  
If it weren’t for his attendance record, Yamaguchi would have surely ditched class. He left the lecture hall in order to meet Tsukishima. He promised him to give him a blowjob and he wasn’t planning to back out. Not because he was desperate or obsessed with him, but because this time he refused to let Tsukishima see through him.

  
In order to get to their usual hiding space, Yamaguchi had to walk passed by the court. At this hour, volleyball practice would be carried out. _Now that I think of it, I haven’t joined any club._ He actually wanted to join the volleyball club, but he was waiting for Tsukishima. He would only join if he would too, after all, they were best friends and childhood friends, it was only normal that they ought to share the same hobbies. Thus, he walked, making his way slowly to the court. The sound of the balls bouncing and the people having a good time had somehow invited him in. _A quick peek wouldn’t hurt._ And so, he stood by the door to take a look. And for a moment he thought his eyes had deceived him. “Oikawa-san?!” The sight of him astounded him. Who would have thought that all this time that he has been going to the same university as Oikawa Tooru! The legend. The setter prodigy. His voice was loud and it actually caught the man’s attention. He stopped the game in order to follow the direction of that sound. The next thing Yamaguchi knew was an eye contact with the king himself.  
_H-he saw me?_! Yamaguchi wobbled backward and he was ready to escape. However, Oikawa reached for his arms, “Karasuno’s Yamaguchi Tadashi-kun.” Yamaguchi froze. “It is you! Man, I haven’t seen a Karasuno’s member in years! And of all of them, you!” Oikawa did not attack him nor look at him in that menacing way that would send shivers down his spine. The last time he witnessed that was during their match four years ago. He gulped, “O-oikawa-san… You actually remember me?” He took a step back away from him, “Me?”  
This made the other male laughed, “ Pfft! Of course, I do. The first year that did the float receives which eventually destroyed my team. How could I forget?” Yamaguchi shrieked before he bowed, “Sorry! But, it was for Karasuno and I had to prove myself that I can!”  
Oikawa laughed even harder at this. Couldn’t he tell that he was joking?  
“Relax, Yamaguchi-kun. I was just kidding!” He slapped Yamaguchi on the back as he giggled, “Anyways, you’re a first year right? Do you have any clubs to join?” Unconsciously, Oikawa had pulled him into the court whilst introducing Yamaguchi to his friends. Yamaguchi was an awkward individual by nature and his confidence level would usually boost up if Tsukishima were around. Thus he kept his distance close to Oikawa. “Not at the moment, I’m waiting for Tsukki’s decision…” He flashed a sweet smile at him, a form of politeness.  
“Eh?” A frown was formed on the senior’s face. “You’re still hanging out with megane-kun? He’s in this university too?”  
“Ah, yes. I came to this university with Tsukki! I’m glad this university has something I’m actually interested in,” he gave him an exciting nod. “Tsukki is in the Aeronautical  & Manufacturing Engineering major!”  
“So you’re basically following him?”  
“Ah,” he blushed scarlet. “We’ve been together since we were young and, I feel at ease if Tsukki is around.”  
They paused for a moment. Oikawa was trying to process his thoughts. _So all this time, this kid is like… a dog?_ Well _they were pretty close back that, but this? Are they dating? I mean, Iwa-chan and I are childhood friends but not_ up _to this point of_ attachment _…_ “Oikawa-san? Are you alright?” His voice stopped his train of thoughts, “Yeah, anyways, why don’t you join volleyball club then? It’s such a waste to keep your ability to yourself~” Reaching out to touch his shoulders, Oikawa teased him a little as he made his offer. “But Tsukk—“ Oikawa cut him off, groaning. “I’ve been with Iwa-chan since we were babies, and we are now in different universities. Choosing your decision is not anyone’s right, Yamaguchi-kun!” He poked his shoulders, pouting. “Are you in love with him to the point of… following him?” There was a pause for a moment. Then, Yamaguchi pulled his gaze away from the other male, looking down at his feet. Bullseye indeed. Oikawa was right on point. He could feel the change of atmosphere and expression. A faint of red across his freckles left Oikawa to be genuinely shocked. _Cute_. He took a step closer, leaning towards him as he reached out his hand to touch his red cheek.  
Then someone grabbed his arm.  
Who the fu— His eyes widened, _Tsukishima Kei._  
“Tsukki…!”  
“Oikawa-san. Please refrain yourself from touching him. You’re being too friendly, it’s creepy.” He grasped Oikawa’s hand hard, smiling. But his eyes weren’t. In fact, his eyes burned with revulsion. So much for a first impression.  
“Tsukishima-kun~” He fake-pouted and slapped the male’s hand away, “You’re being too mean now. I am your senpai you know. Besides can’t you see that Yamaguchi-kun and I are having a quick reunion?” He put his hand around Yamaguchi’s shoulder despite knowing that this infuriated the blonde. “Right, Tadashi-kun?” Yamaguchi, who was oblivious of the tension could only nod. But he could tell that Tsukishima was annoyed. “Sorry Tsukki, I was only checking out the volleyball practice. I happened to see Oikawa-san… He’s in this university!”  
“Shut up Yamaguchi, I could tell.” He glared at Oikawa, the skinship was too much and uncalled for. “Then I supposed, you’re done with this reunion? Yamaguchi and I have made some plans.” He pulled him to his side, holding onto his arm tightly.  
“Ah, right. I almost forgot.” His cheek reddened, “We have to go Oikawa-san.” He bowed politely before being pulled by Tsukishima.  
“Goodbye Oikawa-san. It was a pleasure to see you.” A smile formed on his lips. Yet Oikawa could tell that it wasn’t genuine.  
“Likewise. Oh and Yamaguchi-kun. Do consider my offer~” He winked at him, waving his hands goodbye. _Tsukishima Kei._ Once again, Oikawa’s train of thoughts has arrived. That was followed with a grim look on his face. A sight of resentment. _I never did like you_.

Tsukishima was more aggressive than usual. He pushed his member deep down Yamaguchi’s throat to the point of choking. The worst part of all, he came really quickly this time. Yamaguchi could taste the bitter taste of Tsukishima’s and as usual he swallowed it down. “S-sorry Tsukki… Was I really bad? You came faster than before—“ Embarrassed for coming too quickly, he shoved himself back into his mouth. This took Yamaguchi completely by surprised. He fell to the ground, grasping onto the blonde’s pants for support. “Ts—Tsukki wa— Hmphf!” His blood rose up to his head, it made his heart beat elevated, his body sweat. _I can’t breathe._. Yamaguchi probably thought he wasn’t listening as he gaze was fixed on his action. Tsukishima put his hand in the male’s hair and guide his speed. Faster. Quicker. And he came another load. Once it was over, Yamaguchi pushed himself back. He tried to catch his breath, wiping the excess liquid off his lips. “You’re alright?” Tsukishima asked as he zipped his pants up. Yamaguchi replied with a quick nod, averting his eyes. The whole time he was giving him a head, he was thinking of the girl.  
“What were you doing with Oikawa-san earlier?”  
“I’m sorry?” He tilted his head to the side, pushing himself up.  
“You were with him. Why?” He looked at the floor, as if ashamed of his anger. Why was he angry anyway? There was no need. Yet, the rage he had within him was boiling.  
“I just happened to walk passed by. And, Oikawa-san saw me and one thing led to another we talked…” He added, “Tsukki, are you mad?”  
“No,” He was. “Come one, it’s getting late.”  
“Hmn.” He followed him from behind, as he was positive that Tsukishima was angry beyond words. Yet, he braved himself to ask, “Tsukki, I’m going to join the volleyball club. I know I don’t really have to tell you this but I just want to let you know.” He fiddled with his shirt, keeping Tsukishima out of his sight.  
Upon hearing this, Tsukishima stopped walking. Now that he mentioned it, both of them didn’t belong to any club. Since, being a club wasn’t a requirement, like it used to be in high school, Tsukishima didn’t actually bother to be in one. It was too troublesome anyways. “Why so suddenly? Was it because of Oika—  
“No!” He exclaimed, “It has nothing to do with Oikawa-san. I just, don’t want my ability to go to waste.” He continued on, now giving Tsukishima his full attention. “I want to polish myself even further.”  
There was a long pause for a moment, and then Tsukishima turned around. “Do whatever you want, I’m not your mother. You don’t have to tell me.”  
“Ah right. Sorry, Tsukki!” He ran after him, “Um, where are you going after this?” He changed the subject, knowing that Tsukki was not in the best of mood.  
“Nowhere, let’s just grab a bite.”  
“Yeah, I was thinking of katsudon maybe?”  
“Lead the way.”  
_It's fine. As long as I can still be with him, I’m good. This is more than enough._ He walked by his side, smiling despite the pain.


	2. Rissa

            His phone vibrated. Another text message from his girlfriend he has yet to ignore. Tsukishima’s head was filled with Yamaguchi’s decision. For the first time ever, Yamaguchi was making his own choice without him in it. He wasn’t in any of his options. It should have been that way and since they were in high school Tsukishima did tell him to make his own choices. So what happened this time?

            Instead of a text message, his girlfriend has made a call. Tsukishima was not in the mood to talk at that point of time. Thus, he clicked his tongue in annoyance and picked up the call reluctantly. “What? I told you I’m busy.”

            “Good God Kei-kun! Is that a way to talk to your girlfriend?”

            “What do you want, Rissa?”

            “You to come over. I’m bored~” her husky yet girlish vocal tones were very repulsive to his ear, “I need some attention too!”

            “And I need a distinction grade for my next assignment.”

            “Then I’ll come over!”

            “You’re only going to distract me.”

            “Then, I’ll spread the picture. You know the one in the alle—“

            “Alright!” He groaned, displeased on how this situation has turned out, “I’ll be there in thirty minutes.” Then he hung up. He muttered vulgarities under his breath, cursing his fate. Tsukishima and his girlfriend had a secret that no one could ever find out. It was due to his carelessness that this happened. Has he dug his own grave?

            It was a few weeks ago. Yamaguchi went to Hokkaido for a week, due to a volunteer work his professor has assigned him to. And once a week, Yamaguchi would come over to Tsukishima’s place to satisfy each other’s desire. They have been doing that since their graduation from high school, and eventually, it became a habit for the two of them. The absence of Yamaguchi has left him with a lot of time to spare. To kill it, he went out on his own to the red district area. It was his curiosity that drove him to the area and with him being in a legal age, there was no need to hold back any longer. The place was to be expected and it was exactly how it was shown on TV. As he was observing his surrounding, a woman who was twice her age approached him. Despite her age, she was astonishingly beautiful. She had the same height as Yamaguchi. Her figure sat well on her wafer-thin body. She had a decanter shaped waist and her complexion was impeccable. Even though he wasn’t interested in girls, or guys for that matter, he knew a beautiful girl when he saw one. She wobbled closer to him and the reek of alcohol was getting stronger. Tsukishima despised the smell of alcohol; it reminded him of the time he hooked up with Yamaguchi. The thought of it turned him on for some reasons. He remembered his warm breath, his lips against his and his hands exploring Yamaguchi’s slender body. He could imagine all kinds of voices that guy made, from his whimpering sound to his scream.

            “Eh… are you hard?” Out of the blue, the woman touched his member, rubbing her hand against it, “You must think that I’m really pretty, don’t you?” She was struggling to keep her balance, it was clear that she was drunk. However, Tsukishima was not hard because of her, but because of the image of Yamaguchi holding him that night. A quarter part of it is because of the lady. Any men would get hard if they were touched like that.

           “No, you’ve got it wrong. I was just—“

           “Stop lying, I know you like Onee-san~” The harsh scent of alcohol is getting stronger. _Yamaguchi._ “No, honestly I’m good ma’am.” He took a step back but she came closer, their bodies were pressed against each other. “Reaaaally? But this guy says otherwise!” She couldn’t see straight, she could barely walk but her grip on his hand was firm and she showed no sign of letting him go. The scent of alcohol was then filling his nostrils. _Yamaguchi!_ “Let me g—“ She smirked, and unconsciously pressed her lips against his. “Nee… How about I give you a head. You don’t want to leave like this, do you?” She whispered in between their kiss.

 _Yamaguchi._ “There’s an alley over there…”

 _Yamaguchi._ “I could do this in 10 minutes,”

 _YAMAGUCHI._ “Or less.. Come on, give this Onee-san a chan—“

           “ALRIGHT!” He screamed at her, yet it didn’t surprise her. She couldn’t comprehend much, “yay… Let’s go?”

 

 _Dammit, she’s good_. He thought drunken people have slowed motor skills, but her way of sucking him off was unexpectedly satisfying. Was it because she was older and she had experiences? He couldn’t tell. She kissed the shaft, holding an eye contact with Tsukishima. And unexpectedly, his rigid cock was coated in a glistening sheen of her warm saliva. Her skill was so much better than Yamaguchi’s. She then continued to press her tongue flat along the underside of his penis and wrap her lips around it. Within seconds, her mouth was filled with Tsukishima’s semen. “See, I told you it isn’t bad…!” She slurred her words, gulping down his fluids. Tsukishima had never looked at someone so satisfied just by giving a head to someone. There was porn, but reality took a better hold of him. “Yeah, thanks.” He zipped his pants up, preparing to leave. “I have to go, you can go back on your own right?”

            “Aw, you’re worried?” She chuckled, wiping the excess off of her lips. “Yeah, I’m good.” She sounded sober and to prove that she showed him a genuine smile. “By the way what’s your name?”

            He paused. “Kei.”

            “Haruka. I’ll see you around.” Then she disappeared into the crowd.

           

            Tsukishima was planning to go back home, he had had enough of the red light district. There was an assignment waiting at home and he needed to finish that.

            “You had fun?” A voice took him by surprise. He’d notice that a girl was staring at him, standing a few feet away. “You sure make a very sexy voice, Kei-kun…”

            “Rissa?” His hands began to shake inside his pockets, “what the hell are you doing here?”

            “No, no. The real question is what are you doing here? With a middle-aged hag? Did she suck you off?” She glanced around the area, pretending to be oblivious. She smiled at Tsukishima in a way that always meant awful things. She tilted her head to one side and observed as his eyes glared at her in anger. Yet she found his expression to be highly amusing. “It’s none of your goddamn business.” He clicked his tongue, walking past by her. “Ah,” she chuckled, “I reckon you might say that but what do you think would happen if this picture is seen by everyone on campus?” Turning his head and gifting her a shocked look as she raised her phone to show a picture of him and the woman.

            He gritted his teeth, “What do you want Rissa?”

            “Be my boyfriend.” She stated simply.

            “What?”

            “You heard me, be my boyfriend.” Tossing her yellow hair, she looked into his eyes with a smile that was up to no good, “You’re one of the most popular guys in our campus. I mean you could be a model! Basically, I like you!”

            “No.” He answered instantly, giving her a death glare.

            “Then you don’t mind to let everyone sees this right? You could be kicked out of campus, have your life ruined… A model student is sucked off at the red light district!”

            Tsukishima violently pushed her against the wall, grasping onto her shoulders. She flinched, but she was even more amused by this. The smile that lit up her face was the wrong kind and this annoyed Tsukishima. “You’re the wo—“

            “Do you know what happened if you hit a girl? I could sue you.” Tsukishima gathered his thoughts, stepping back. “Hmn, that’s what I thought,” she shifted forward, her fingers catching at the end of his collar to tug on it. “I’ll give you two days to _think_ about it. See you tomorrow at class, Kei-kun~” A cute smiled played on her lips before she went off, leaving Tsukishima in the most undesirable position.

            “Shit!”

 

            “Welcome to my humble home babe!” Rissa threw herself into his embrace, as she knew Tsukishima had no other choice but to obey. They have been dating for almost a month now and she enjoyed having him to dance on the palm of her hand. Even if it meant for him to hate her to the core, she couldn’t care less. She loved looking at all of his expressions. Besides, the angrier Tsukishima got, the more she wanted to tease him. _It sure is nice to play my trump card--_ _he can do nothing._

“Don’t call me that.” She glared, her way of threatening him. Steeling his nerve to do something he would certainly never usually even consider doing, he hugged her back. “I’m sorry, I have many things to do and I need to meet my dateline.” The completely out of character turn that he took to which he hoped would mean he was able to carry off, “You want to do it I supposed?”

            She smiled sweetly, “I love you Kei.”

            “Me too.” He replied reluctantly as he felt her nails digging into his skin.

 


End file.
